Monday, December 25, 2006

that was the worst christmas ever!


sufjan says it best, "that was the worst christmas ever!"

1) my parental units hand heather, heidi, and myself these rather large presents. what oh what could they be?! we're supposed to open them at the same time, but before we do my mother says, "now, this probably won't mean anything now, but in the future you might enjoy it." "ummmm....what on earth does that mean mother?" i say. now we're getting all curious and open the presents! and behold! we each get a garbage bag full of baby blankets, bibs, a baby doll, i haven't quite observed it fully. but anyway most importantly i get a ballerina doll! gasp! mother says, "hillery got the ballerina!" oh boy! oh and it was also filled with items for a future mother's kitchen like oven mits, spatchula, and measuring cups. thanks mom!.....? basically i take this as, hurry and get a boyfriend then hop on the marriage train, asap! then have kids! so we can have grandbabies! for my mother's last birthday her birthday wish was for grandchildren...honest.

2) the family present! now thankfully it wasn't a moving waterfall picture, cause that's what we got last year. not just 1, but 2! oh dear me. anyway the tag on the present this year says, "to the hathaway's who are hard as steel. follow the iron rod. love, santa" santa quotes the book of mormon? and inside was, "'steel' magnolias" on dvd.

3) heidi, my sister recieves a reconstructed/used clarinet! heidi last played/touched the clarinet i believe in the years of her youth when she was a lass in middle school. she's 25 now...so....she really wanted one, i'm guessing. and my parents gave her some sweet books like, "elementary clarinet solos". "heidi, this is your main gift!" my parents assure her.

4) heidi gets an empty box for christmas. mum says, "it was for your birthday! she wanted to use her boots for her birthday (dec. 18th). i'm just reminding you!".....awful. i know.

5) and of course, we all get these wretched and a half christmas socks from the dollar store. gag.

i adore my parents but i tend to think they lack in the good gift giving ideas department.

over and out. and merry merry christmas!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Fairly Odd Parent




First blog ever on www.blogger.com! Wooooo hoooo! Cow-a-bunga! Now, If I am correct, "Fairly Odd Parents" is a show on the telly. And if I am correct, I do believe I have one of those. Check yes, one telly. Double check yes, one fairly odd parent. Truly, no wait, I lied....two actually. My dear sweet mother is a bit of an oddball. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes. Cause the dishes don't lie! Ya heard! Perhaps I'll share some goodie tales about her in a future upcoming blog! Anyway this 'fairly odd parent' I'm speaking of today happens to be the one and only 'Mr. B'! Yeah! You know! 'B' stands for Bruce who is my father! Okay, so this christmas eve morning as I'm half asleep in my bedroom upstairs....note: our walls are paper-thin and you can basically hear people talking in the basement! Nahhh, stjk! (stjk=so totally just kidding. What now?! I'm in 5th grade! Sucka!) But anyway, you're catching my drift...So I'm lying there and I do declare hearin' my momma shout, "Bruce! You did it again! How many times do I have to tell you to not leave the icecream on top of the freezer!?" Did I mention he left the icecream just hanging out on top of the fridge the entire night? Yep, that's what I call awesome! My dad has done this in past times with items that belong in the fridge. Don't get me wrong, he's a great pianist, rock collecter, etc...but he does indeed have a reputation for mistaking items in the wrong places. Kind of bad news. Doo da doo, 8 'o clock pm rolls around today and for the second time my father has failed to put the evening snack called icecream back in the chilled storage for preservation aka freezer! Mother says, "Bruce! You can't put the icecream on top of the freezer! We put it inside the freezer." Isn't it great that my father needs a simple instruction like, 'We put icecream in freezers'? Next we'll probably have to inform him that letters go in the mailbox. Oh geez! My family rocks like the boy band Hanson. Except maybe 10 times more rockin'. As Death Cab would say, this is"Why you'd want to live here." Any takers?