Monday, December 24, 2007

i'd like

to be a good-doer like amelie.

and eat raspberries off the tops of my ten fingers.

Monday, December 17, 2007

frenchy i'm faking

3 people as of recent have asked, "is that your real hair? it looks like a wig! it's just so perfect."

you wanna see a wig? here i'll show you..

Sunday, December 16, 2007

like woah

this one time on our family vacation we brought home...!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

ho ho ho ha

sooooooo funny.

turn yo self into an elf!

this is me, my sissy heather, bro bro ben, and other sis heidi.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

dear mysterious lover

thank you for putting that beautiful pinecone in my bicycle basket yesterday.

do you live in a tree? could i hold you in my hands and nuzzle your head? let's eat mixed nuts on christmas.
or we could pick insects off of plants together. whichever. both sound delightful.

love, hillery

Friday, December 7, 2007

fiddy cent

dats right dazzzz riiiiiight. someone found 2 lovely quarters on the uta bus floor. and it was me.

i'm telling you! has anybody ever offered you money to ride with them? and don't say a stranger that wanted to kidnap you. you're a big fat fibber.

oh and this picture i found of '50 cent' doesn't look anything like the rapper. whatever.

Monday, November 26, 2007


dear dear friends of the blogging world,

wow, i haven't written in years? decades? a century? okay that was a lie. but seriously. where have i been?

oh yes, now i remember...another grand adventure on the good 'ol uta bus today.

the following things were witnessed:

1) a thirteen year old grandmother/barbie. i'm not sure how to explain this really, just imagine a 70 year old woman with long plastic looking hair and makeup like barbie, wearing flared jeans and some skater shoes.

2) a tired lad? first, bam! he smacks into a pole while exiting out the doors. then best of all, his backpack strap gets caught on the side railing just beside the door. the bus driver starts the engines and moves about 2 feet. finally mr. space cadet with the backpack becomes alert and yells, "OHHH! OHHH! WAIT! WAIT! HEY!"

man, today wasn't half as bad as i expected.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

gimme the birdie!

oh don't even try sticking your middle finger up at me! that's not what i meant! duhhhhh.

let's just lay it out on the line that macaws are the bomb!

i finally got to have an encounter with one at the hare krishna temple!

here are a few things that were said by this creature:

1) i approach the bird "hi baby!" macaw: "MOVE IT!"
2) the macaw bobbed his head up and down saying, "Peek-a-boo!"
3) he even said "helloooo!" and "bye!"

christmas is coming up and i've certainly been a well-behaved child! please....?!

Friday, August 24, 2007

i spy hillery?





Monday, August 20, 2007

Wednesday, August 8, 2007


look who was caught using photobooth...

mr. b!

Friday, July 27, 2007

i know

i crossed the plains with my wagon
my bonnet tied tightly round my head
the bitter cold
i fought the storm
i found my home
i was a pioneer

Monday, July 16, 2007


oh sorry. were you expecting something intelligent to come out of this mouth?

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


why do some folks say the word naked like, 'neck-ed'? how do you get that? neck-ed. neck-kid. neq-id. those are some alternate spellings.

oh and why, you might ask is this is on my mind? it's just the usual people! dreaming of naked mole rats. here's a picture to prove it.

and while we're on the subject of 'naked' let's just get the message across that 'naked juice' is basically divinity from above. yumyumyum.


Sunday, July 8, 2007

i'm pretty sure this is not even a joke. cool!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

a non-cheesy suggestion

let's all just quit our jobs and fly to the moon! i'm not even kidding here people!

hello, we could live there for as long as we want!

we could eat cheese! and sell it too!

are you coming or what?

Friday, June 8, 2007

my musical nose

last night in my dream i was playing saxophone sounds out of my nostrils. naturally. and everybody was jealous.

what if this were real?? c'mon guys. pretty cool!

Thursday, May 31, 2007

another tragedy

my hairdryer and flat iron offically lost their lives. funeral anyone? we could listen to 'the blow' and 'hot hot heat'.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

irony with a coke, please.

today at the san diego zoo this little thought crossed my mind...the majority of what is sold in their little concession stands and outdoor cafes is meat! almost every menu item is carnivor friendly. what the dickens! is this not ironic or immoral? the zoo! a place to appreciate animals? no? am i mistaken?

Friday, May 25, 2007

building a mystery

i've got one question...what is it that everybody has and some pirates and theives try to take?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

gone daddy gone

carl withers my beloved son (betta fish) passed away today. 3 days before my birthday! not the birthday surprise i was desiring. betta' recognize! get it? betta' like betta fish?

elleroy and i had a funeral. for pre-funeral services we listened to songs like, "last goodbye" by(e) jeff buckley, "bye" by(e) elliott smith, and "this is the last time" by(e) keane. and the grand finale theme song of our little grieving session was "the funeral" by(e) band of horses. we also wrote poems and read them aloud to our dear sweet boy.

the highlight was probably the part when we clogged our drain. not with the fish! oh boy! don't worry! it was just with toilet paper! yes. you heard right.

we needed a spot in the house to strain the remaining contents of the fish bowl. there were purple gems in carl's abode that we didn't want flying down the drain. neither ellie or myself were willing to sacrifice our towels or strainer for the experiment. the both of us came up with the beyond genius idea of putting the t.p. ( secret code for toilet paper ) over the drain. but it actually flaked to itty bitty pieces. and thus the outcome- a congested sink.

yeah, so what? we're hardcore like that!

we had no draino and therefore our only thrifty/uncostly/cheap skate way was to go door-to-door asking. and we officially succeeded! thanks to the very generous lads- aaron van wagoner and friend andrew.

oh and we're definitely getting a new fish. soon. watch out for carl(s) jr.! get it? not the restraunt.

p.s. how many ( ) (parenthesis) did i use? guess the number and win a free box of broken crayons! this is me being serious!

p.p.s. aurora thinks he has a generous looking face. and it turns out i falsely rewarded him for draino because in actuality it's andrew's draino. ohhhh shucks. give those cookies back you little fooler!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

this may be a bit fishy

"i'd take my puppy everywhere, la la la la i wouldn't care. then we'll stay away from crowds with signs that say no dogs allowed. oh we...i know he'd never bite me!" lyrics by harry nilsson, 'the puppy song'

i was thinking about this tender tune today. if you haven't heard the recent pet update in my life elleroy and i decided to adopt a beta fish. he is purple (like our bedroom walls! not intentional. no way.) and he goes by the name of carl withers.

so what if i took my dear pet with me everywhere i went? would it be socially acceptable to do this? if people can show off their puppies in public why can't i bring my fish to the movie theater? the pool? to the dentist? to church? (okay maybe no).

i think i will!

Monday, April 30, 2007

i believe i can fly

my ears did hear glorious music this morn. a bird who's chirp was that of a broken record. it struggled. greatly.

i love you dear bird.

also, who doesn't like r. kelly? your mom?

Monday, April 23, 2007

eye m 12345678910u! (get it?)

what if we all started using the phrase, "boom shaka laka laka" a bit more? will we do it?

i'm counting on you! this was the title i made into a mystery joke. funny or not funny?

p.s. my fathor just left a 3 pound slab of costco butter (now mushy) behind the telephone and next to various junk items from the kitchen. (dried up markers, flashlight, cords to who knows what, piles of old mail, etc) funny or not funny?

Saturday, April 21, 2007

popping the question (questioning pop-music)

has anybody ever heard of pop sensation jojo? yes, she is in the hit film aquamarine. yes, she is like 14. yes, she sings horrible teenybopper music.

now one good thing that comes from having a 16 year old brother is that he'll put appalling crap on itunes. and in this case, it does include jojo. one of her songs came up on random play-the song, "too little too late." and about 12 seconds into the song (right before i hit next) she says, "come with me, stay the night." wait. what? you're 14? you wrote this?

ohhhhh like a sleepover party!

Friday, April 20, 2007

oops! he did it again.

those of you who are familiar with the tale of my father and his 'putting things in the freezer' issues i have good news for you! (read my first blog on december 24th if you're lost) there is a short sequel to add on to this! whoo! alright-yeah...uh huh.

today i was craving the remnants of my oreo cheesecake shake. which was put in the.....freezer. yep, you guessed it. you genius. but to my dismay i could not find it! and when i looked up above my head i saw something. this something was sitting on top of the freezer. what oh what could it be?

my shake! completely melted. which means mr. b (my dadio) left it out overnight? again!

because i know this incident will occur again. probably soon. probably tomorrow. i will just say, to be continued....

Thursday, April 19, 2007

why i heart my mummy

mum: "hillery, why is the c-a-t in the house?" shhhhhh, the c-a-t might hear you saying it's name!

mum talking to binford our male dog."hi mister binford daisy!" daisy is our female dog.

turning left at a four-way stop. mum (counting quickly): "1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10!!!" me:"why are you counting?" mum: "oh for fun!"

mum (screaming bloody murder): "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" me (running to see what's going down in the backyard):"what, what's the matter!" mum: "there's a dead bird on the lawn! ohhhhhhh. i don't want to pick it up!" mum grabs a plastic grocery bag. and while carefully scooping up the carcass says to herself, "go janice! go janice! go janice go! you can do it janice!"

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


discovery #1: today at costco i asked my mother if she would buy me a hot tub. guess what?! she said no.

discovery #2: my five year old neighbor mckenna sells sandwhich bags of candy for 10 cents! cheap!

discovery #3: in the state of utah, birds have the right of way on all highways.

Monday, April 16, 2007

thoughts of marriage

by this title you would expect me to announce a recent proposal or a tender engagement story. you are unfortunately and sorely confused. you see, i'm looking for a husband with an exceptionally cool last name. right now. this is not a joke. here's what i've come up with thus far.

prefered last names:

1) walker- i would name my son jay. (jay walker)
2) rexic- i would name my daughter anna. (anna rexic)
3) tial- i would name my daughter celest. (celest tial)
4) bed- i would name my son goto. (goto bed)
5) showers- i would name my daughter april. (april showers)
6) oli- i would name my daughter ravi. (ravi oli)

find me a husband! quick!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

the future looks good

i hope, wish, and pray i look like this my whole life. that's all.

p.s. someone make me do my homework. pleeeeeease.

these are a few of my favourite things.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

uta- ultra trendy automobile

some of you may enjoy riding your scooters, rollerblades, jumping in your moonboots to school. but me? well i take the bus. as of today. let me tell you folks, it was indeed one wild ride. my reasoning: bus #1: i sit next to a fellow. he's a 1 out of 10 on the attractiveness scale and completely opposite of my style. as a stereotype we'll just call him minkus the nerd. this was one of those moments when you're in dire need of a mute button. he rambled on and on and on and on about how he's terrible at mathematics and how he adored science.

look at me sonny? do i honestly give a rats tail? i politely smiled and avoided continuation of conversation.

you think this is bad? nooooooo. oh no.

the next stop in front of deseret industries a rather frumpy, black-clothed lady hops on the bus. let's call her henrietta. approximately five seconds after she sits down she says to this chap (we'll give him the name louis)-about 40 years old, beside me, note-she doesn't even know him! she's all like, "hey, you like to check girls out at every bus stop." louis says, "no, no, i don't." henrietta's all, "oh yes, at every bus station you stare at all the girls. behind your wife's back! you've probably been videotaped!" and he's like, "i'm not even married! i don't do that stuff!" henrietta laughs, "oh yeah right!" and the bus driver shouts, "hey cut it out! now!"

silence for about 1 minute. next bus stop over by blockbuster video a hispanic lady in her 30's sits in front of henrietta. she'll probably need a name too. let's call her juanita. and apparently juanita knows the bus driver and is having a conversation with her about how she took her car to get fixed at the car dealership and how they didn't clean it up properly.

about 2 minutes into the conversation henrietta yells, "oh shut up! nobody cares about your f***ing problems! nobody cares about your f***ing problems." juanita says, "excuse me! excuse me! i can talk to the bus driver if i want! and look at you! you're eating food on the bus! see that sign over there? it says 'no food'!"

the bus driver says, "ohhhhh. you better not be eating food on the bus!" henrietta quickly puts her food away. the bus driver says, "hey lady, what's your name anyway. i'm going to report you." henrietta shouts, "i don't have to tell you my f***ing name! make me!"

next stop is the university mall. henrietta is forced to take herself and belongings off the bus. the bus driver and louis follow off. all of us passengers are completely shocked. we fill out some complaint cards. about 5 minutes later louis comes back, then following behind, the bus driver. henrietta runs back up to the doors nearly punches the bus driver-but she closed the doors just in time. and henrietta walks towards the mall still looking at bus 830 shouting every swear word in the book.

and a uta bus lady says, "anybody going to uvsc get on the 811" so here we go to the other bus. bus #2. and! minkus is sitting behind me. woo hoo! breathing on the back of my neck. eeeeeeeek. and then a handicapped lady on this bus is shouting at the bus driver because she wants to get off in the middle of a shopping center (not on the bus route) and the driver says, "i'll let you out just past this stop light, okay?" and the crazy lady's all, "nooooo! now! i'm handicapped and this is how you treat me! i'm reporting you!" and the driver pulls over at the next stop and crazy lady's like, "this is where you were talking about? oh! this is great! i'm sorry! thank you, thank you kindly!"

today was awesome.